Voluntary house arrest: Yes, please!

I was inspired not too long ago by some college students who placed themselves under house arrest to protest something political (didn't pay attention to the actual cause). I wanted to jump on the bandwagon, but they neglected to list guidelines for a beginner like me. I wanted to know about the line between house arrest and simply hanging out at home. After consulting with the experts, I can only say that the line is fine indeed. 

For example, lounging in sweats and a t-shirt watching Star Trek reruns falls into the category of "hanging out." However, if you put on a pair of French Blue Poplin Pajamas from The Gap, then you're surely "doing time." Just the bottoms cost $19.95, but they look remarkably like prison clothes. Bleach them out in the sun for a couple of days and you'll have that Cool Hand Luke look for sure. If the line is still blurry, I've provided some official Frank Santos House Arrest Rules. They are as follows: 

1. Give yourself a sentence: say 24 hours or, if you're really nuts, 48 or 72 hours. I think increments of 24 make a rather bold statement. Don't you?

2. Stock up on snacks, DVDs, and video games. Make sure your internet service provider is a good one. Extended house-jail time with dial-up can be unnecessarily tedious.

3. Make provisions for what those in the corrections business call "good behavior." And what constitutes good behavior? Just what you'd think: cleaning up after yourself, turning lights off in unused rooms to save electricity, stuff like that. Depending on how far you want to go, you could put some signs up around the house. My favorite is, "Pick up your mess, FRESH FISH! Your mother doesn't live in this voluntary-house-arrest prison."

4. Last, have some inspirational material handy for the tough times. It's not uncommon for Voluntary House-Arrested Cons to get down in the dumps after "lights-out." Books like Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and the ever popular Chicken Soup series have worked well for me. 

The other rules are just what you'd expect: half-hour conjugal visits, shoelaces removed at night, and long-distance phone calls only during reduced-rate hours.

Finally, you may not have picked a cause on which to base your voluntary house arrest experience. I'm told there are services on the web that will help you with this for a nominal fee. But don't sweat this part. I never actually got around to picking a cause and my experience went very well. Anyway, good luck and see you on the "outside." 

Ithaca Times - Voluntary house arrest: Yes, please!