UNITS OF TIME

I took a short trip with my new lady to a quiet little place in the far reaches of Western New York. Nothing there, really, but a couple of bar/restaurants, a single old-fashioned inn, and the ubiquitous Office Max/Home Depot/Walmart/Bed Bath & Beyond/Dollar Store pentaverate. "What the hell are we going to do," J. asked with concern in her voice. Perhaps the thought of spending two solid days alone with me invoked some fear. What - no distractions? We need distractions! 

But I eased her mind with a simple formula that has served me well for years. It's called UNITS OF TIME. UNITS OF TIME is a no-nonsense way to make sure you enjoy your vacation and leisure time. It goes like this: 1.5 hours of activity, followed by 1.5 hours of R&R. That's it! In technical terms, it's a fixed ratio of 1 unit of activity to 1 unit of relaxation. You could try other ratios, but mine is based on extensive field-research. I wouldn't fuck with it. 

An example: J. and I started our first unit of activity with a walk around the downtown section of this quaint little village. We went in a liquor store and picked out a nice bottle of Pinot. Then we stopped in a cafe for coffee and brownies. The brownies were great, but J. got burned on the coffee, which the proprietor talked her into. It was too experimental and had soy milk and some other unsuccessful ingredients. No matter, because a smoke in the parking lot of the inn nicely rounded out the first 1.5 hours of activity. It's important to note that you don't have to keep time or anything. After all, the whole point is to relax and enjoy. But I've been doing this for so long, I can usually hit the 1.5 hour mark within 2 or 3 minutes on either side. 

For the relaxation part, we checked into our suite, took showers, then watched t.v. Our room was really bizarre and had a separate t.v. room with a pull out sofa. We lounged on the pull out and watched a show. Then, we got ready for our next 1.5 hour unit of activity! In this case it turned about to be a short walk to a brewery where we had some decent ales along with burgers and fries. It proved to be a nice dinner. Back at the inn, we took baths, watched t.v., and became a little bit amorous. This blew the whole ratio because went over the 1.5 hour time limit, but it was getting late and we got back on track with a short drive to Tim Horton's, which has the best coffee in all of Western New York. J. had just finished reading Candy Girl, by Diablo Cody, and so we ate chocolate chip cookies and drank coffee while talking about the finer points of that excellent journalistic foray into the nether world of exotic dancing. 

And that's about it. Unit of time: check it out. It works!